Pinoyspotting
TIM TAYAG gives us the lowdown on spotting our own abroad
Pinoys, a diminutive we Filipinos like to call each other, have a knack for spotting their own. Blame it on our cultural quirks such as pointing with our lips when asked for directions, raising our eyebrows to give that “Pinoy ka ba?” (are you Pinoy?) look and dipping perfectly edible fruit in rotten-smelling fish sauce or shrimp paste. Indeed, we’re recognisable even in foreign lands. No words are spoken, just a stare and a slight nod, and we know. Maybe we possess some special DNA that senses the presence of our own kind. For the Pinoy or non-Pinoy alike, here is how we do it.
PACKAG E TOURS
Pinoys, like wolves, travel in packs. We usually travel with family. Even when you see a newly-wed Pinoy couple on their honeymoon, they are never truly alone. A few steps behind them are their parents, carrying the shopping bags while staring at store window displays. Teenage Pinoys stay close to their parents, especially when shopping. This is so that when they see a desirable item, they can ask their parents to buy it for them. In case they split up, they will have a designated meeting place and time, usually around lunch or dinner. Pinoys never eat meals alone, we’d rather fast than ask for a table for one. If you ever see a Pinoy traveling alone with white folks, it’s more than likely he he is either adopted or Korean.
WHAT TO WEAR
When a Pinoy goes to a slightly colder country, his fashion sense goes on holiday as well. Stonewashed denim jackets paired with a Chicago Bulls NBA cap are usually the choice in keeping warm. Studies reveal that there is a direct correlation between the age of the Pinoy and the ugliness of the clothes worn: the older one gets, the worse the outfit. The fashion faux pas factor is calculated like this: age + number of days abroad ÷ temperature (in Fahrenheit) – 47.85 (or the current US dollar-peso exchange rate).
However, Pinoys adapt better in warm, humid weather as our toes are accustomed to grabbing the edge of flip-flops.
SIGHTS TO SEE
So how do you find Pinoys when you’re abroad? Just go to a shopping mall, a Catholic church, or a town square where gambling is allowed. Pinoys are all about finding the best bargains. We buy in bulk and sell it back home. We are the ones in the shoe store with the paper cut-out of someone’s foot. Lastly, we collect shopping bags from different stores for use when we get home.
Useful phrases
To be an expert in Pinoyspotting one must master psssst (pronounced ph-st like the sound of a deodorant spray). This sound is the unbreakable Pinoy Morse code, similar to snake language. Depending on the length, it can convey different meanings. “Pssst” can mean the following:
1 “hey you!” When a Pinoy hears this sound, he will stop dead in his tracks and look for the source of the sound. It is the Pinoy radar signal to which every Pinoy (or sometimes Mexican) has to respond.
2“get away from my car!” This is used as a warning to little children and shady characters to move away from the vehicle
3“don’t tell them my secret!” When someone is about to divulge secret information, a succinct “psssst” can prevent this. This can also be employed in movie theaters and libraries.
DEPARTURE, INFLIGHT, AND ARRIVAL
At the airport, the Pinoys are the families hauling their colorful balikbayan boxes at the check-in counter, accompanied by a jeepney-load of barrio folks reminding them of their shoe sizes. On the plane, we carry an assortment of backpacks, shopping bags of pasalubong and snacks of pork rind and dried watermelon seeds dangerously pushing the allowable weight limit. We always ask for extra peanuts and chips to give to relatives and friends who will be picking us up. We have relatives at the airport of any country (and we mean ANY country).
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