Living Dangerously – Pinoy Style
FROM SURVIVING COUPS TO EATING PIG’S SNOUTS, TIM TAYAG DARES YOU TO LIVE ON THE WILD SIDE IN THE PHILIPPINES
If you want to live on the edge, if you want excitement, if you want uncertainty without the aid of illicit drugs, then come visit the Philippines. Ours is a country that never runs out of adventures that are fun, frugal, and sometimes near-fatal. We put the fear in factor or the factor in fear. Here’s a list of must-tries if you dare take up the challenge…
Take the karaoke challenge
Here’s a secret: for every Pinoy who makes it to American Idol and makes us proud, there are a million others who are tone deaf and put us to shame. When you have an annoying voice in the middle of a quiet province full of drunkards, well then, you’ve got a brawl waiting to happen. Test the crowd’s patience and tolerance by singing your heart out in a local karaoke bar. Remember, to get a high score you don’t need to be in tune, you just need to make noise as the lyrics turn blue on the screen.
Witness a coup d’etat
There are about two coup d’etats that happen in this country but you only see the ones worthy of television coverage. Check the newspaper or watch the news for any new government scandals then make your way to the nearest five-star hotel, the favorite venue of rebel soldiers. Order your coffee and wait for the tanks and troops to storm into the lobby. Remember to take photos with the soldiers. If you’re lucky enough to be mistaken for a journalist, you might be taken in for questioning. Now that would be something to write home about!
Brave the floods
Even before Al Gore alarmed us with extreme weather change, we’ve handled floods as casually as we do our laundry – by hand. Dare to drive your car in knee-deep water while praying to Saint Jude, the saint of impossible causes. The key is to tailgate the car in front of you and ride the wake and never let go of the gas pedal. If your car starts to float, it’s time to take out the oars and pay the street kids to give you a push.
Eat the exotic food
We’re not talking about balut or “chocolate meat” here. We’re talking about extreme chows that can give you the stomach flu if you’re weak. Try eating fried crickets, beetles, worms, frogs, field mice, cow’s tongue, snail, betamax (curdled and dried chicken blood, cut into cubes and barbecued), adidas (chicken feet), chicken head, pig ears, and pig snout. And for dessert, there’s dirty ice cream or the dreaded fruit – durian – which smells like dirty socks mixed with eau de armpit.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY EUGENE Y OW
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